NPC Memery, High Grades, Beautiful Begging

NPC Memery

The NPC meme is as fascinatingly stupid as any other slanderous image can be, but I enjoyed Evan James’ hot take over at Jacobite. I don’t want to analyze his analysis here… only to rattle off some brain drip thought…

To suggest that the far right has more liberated ideas than the far left is as silly and blind as flat earth theory—actually, they may be on to something. To be fair though, the right can at least meme. I mean, damn, they’re good at it—and funny too. Guess what! Aligning with any thought-schema makes you to some extent a Turing Machine, spitting up a tape reader with predefined answers. The internal monologue is a simulacrum: maybe something stirred their with life once but now it’s only a mirror of a mirror.

Maybe the NPC meme indicates something cheesier than just another attack. At bottom, we all want to believe our thoughts are free. So we should look to the NPC within and liberate them them from their programming through ruthless self-reflection. Or maybe at bottom, we’re really all just p-zombies.

High Grades

Lo and behold, exhaling cannabis’ sweet smoke causes students to inhale poor grades. Does the devil’s lettuce make you dumber; is the brain’s circuitry being fried like a fly in the lamplight? No. What it does do is make you indifferent, distracted, and prone to giggling. You’re not getting through the Principa Mathematica with grass growing on your fat cells.

Survey data suggest that the proportion of students who consumed marijuana at least once in the prior month increased roughly 7% from 2010 (prelegalization) to 2016 (postlegalization)… Legal access is associated with a decrease in standardized grades by about 0.016 standard deviations, or roughly one-half of the estimated effect of legal access to alcohol. The decline in grades is driven primarily by an increase in the instance of D and F grades and, consistent with earlier research, the largest grade impacts are found in quantitative courses, among weaker students, and among men…

What i don’t get is… are these kids showing up to class stoned? Or trying to study stoned? Or getting too stoned to do the work because the trippy tapestry on the wall is starting to look like a caterwauling cat?

Maybe weed is opening their third-eye and kids who once wanted to be accountants realize their true calling is nose-deep in Judith Butler or studying the colonialism Joseph Conrad. Keep smoking weed kids… we can never have too many polemicists day-jobbing on Twitter!

Beautiful Begging

Listen up homeless people and crack heads, if you want to beg outside the gas station make sure to hit the gym and wear some clothes that click to your cheeks like they’re giving those fat sacks a kiss. Instagram models prove once again that they’re at top of the economic food chain.

In the crude YouTube experiment a woman in a black top held together by as many strings as the dollars she’s begging for tells passing men that she just needs a little money for a taxi. Each one happily obliges while struggling to maintain eye contact. And for their generosity they receives a kiss on the cheek—got to love Chile (or at least I believe that’s where this takes place).

Our fearless content creator asks, “Do you think that beauty or appearance matters?” Is that rhetorical? Was any hypothesis ever in question? What the hell? Of course not. Yes, attractive people—especially women—can solicit requests with more success than a toothless addict.

Still, it’s fun to watch clueless men fumble for their wallets, or even take a walk with our heroine to an ATM so they can do their good deed of the day. Yes people. Samaritans do still exist.

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